Bent Forks and Broncos

Climbs : Plate Tectonics  (5.10a) ★★★★ Gettin' Lucky In Kentucky  (5.10b) ★★★★ 5th Bolt Faith  (5.10c) ★★★ Tall Cool One  (5.9) ★★★ Universal Gravitation  (5.10d) ★★★ Moonshine (5.10a) ★★★★ Sunbeam (5.10c) ★★★★ Prologue: Our ragged band of misfit heroes slowly wake up, not lost--but not quite found--somewhere in the backwoods of Kentucky, preparing to save the world.... or at least climb 5.10. The Crush-This League at the Bat Cave Scene I: Breakfast TONY STARK: Good morning, sunshine! DICK GRAYSON: And protein-packed pancakes-- SAITAMA:  PANCAKES!! GRAYSON: --are ready! BANNER: Save some for the rest of us, Saitama! SEVDA: These are lovely, dear. And because they are brown, you can't tell that they're burnt. GRAYSON: The extra chocolate chips really help too. SAITAMA: So much better than drinking your protein. BRUCE BANNER: Especially your  vegan protein shakes, Saitama. I don't know how you drink that. STARK: Or where ...

David on Amarillo Sunset Climbs: Miranda Rayne (5.9+): ★★ (OK) Audie (5.8): ★★ (Fun) Amarillo Sunset (5.11b): ★★★★★ (A.M.A.Z.I.N.G) Samurai (5.12b): ★★★★ (Very cool.) On Monday morning, we woke up and made pancakes. Protein-packed pancakes. They came in a box with an angry grizzly bear face imprint. They were good. Savage. Somewhere in the middle, we added chocolate chips. They were even better. More savage. We didn’t worry about climbing. It was still too cold. The clouds had cleared, but it was ust barely above freezing. Which is great weather, when you’re bouldering, at the top of Mount Everest, or swimming with polar bears. But it’s not great weather your a wanna-be weekend rockstar sport climber. But we were men (+ Sevda--but she had to work (boo Mondays), so she couldn’t climb). We would handle the cold. We settled on PMRP, North 40. There would be several easy climbs. There would be several moderates. There would be several five start lines. Hop...

It was snowing. Literally. We were in the car, driving from the luxurious Comfort Inn to Muir Valley, for our first day of climbing. With the exception of lunch, dinner, and a quick stop at a Halloween costume shop, we had spent all of the previous day in the car, our excitement overflowing: we were going climbing for a week. Last night, we smuggled the five of us into a far too small, two-queen-bed hotel room. Zach and Sevda got a bed; David, Dave-O, and I got a bed. Actually, David took one for the team, claiming that with a pad, the hotel floor was actually more comfortable than many of his past accommodations. I believed him, but I also really wanted a bed. Easy Choice This morning, we stuffed ourselves with Comfort Inn’s [Continental] Breakfast of Champions: seasonal hotel pumpkin spice waffles (yum!), paper-thin strips of real plastic bacon (nope), reconstituted mash labelled scrambled eggs (nope), something like fruit (yes) and actual oatmeal (you can’t ruin oatmeal...

The Crew At approximately 9:02 AM on Saturday, I got a call from one of those vacation peddling con-men indicating that I had won a free week-long cabin rental at the Red River Gorge in Kentucky. All I had to do was to immediately bring two bags to the car waiting to pick me up. Right now. This con man was Zach. In on the con were his wife, Sevda, two friends of ours both called Dave (we’ll call one Dave and the other Dave-O), and myself. It was time for the Red. Earlier in the year, Dave, Zach, Sevda, Lisa and I had gone to the Red. It was supposed to be more than the five of us, but rain. I had actually booked the biggest non-van rental car possible, but rain. We’re talking I’ve-just-used-half-the-country’s-oil-reserves-to-get-to-the-red Chevy Suburban big. But rain. Not even the 100%-its-going-to-rain rain, but the 80% chance of rain every day rain. I’m going to skip the hour long game of telephone trying to convince people to change flights and climbing locations at 1:00 ...

Note: I've recently returned (not recent any more--it was nearly two years ago!) from an amazing trip to Slovenia and Croatia. This next series of posts (if I ever finish them) will describe some of the highlights, primarily with a climbing focus. Ok, you got me. It's almost 100% about climbing. Here's part three,  Croatia's Gym. Route Summary (out of four stars): Banana Split,  5c (15m): ★★★ (solid warmup, lots of fun). Krokodil,  6b (22m): ★★★★ Rasierklinge , 5c (9m): ★ Auskneifer , 6c+ (really?!) (15m): ?? ★ Over dub, 5c (22m): ★★ Il viaggio , 6a (18 m):    ★★★ Veleshit,  6a+ (17 m): ★★ Cuja ti si bog!, 5c+(15m): ★★ What makes a climb great? Is it the location? The exposure? The moves? The difficulty? The people you're with? I've had some time to think about the question, and all I've come up with is a vague notional idea, that feels very cop-out-ish. It's some combination of every factor, and that combination is different f...

I made it out Gretna for a short, hot and humid Bouldering Session Sunday afternoon. Not exactly ideal Pennsylvania Bouldering conditions, but I was out pulling on real rock, so I can't complain. Even though I was only out for ~4ish hours, I'm pretty stoked about a pseudo-project that I finally sent. Thankfully (sort of), gravity does still work, because I haven't sent any of my hard projects yet. Here's a quick recap of the high and low lights. The updated Mt Gretna Bouldering Guidebook that was supposed to be in stock by January (last time I went there)? Not out yet. I'm not complaining, because there's a lot of hard work that goes into making the guidebook, and I really appreciate the guys who do it. Ok, I'm complaining a little. But only because I'm stoked. I hopped back on the delicate, slabby,  Scarlet Lady --a problem I sent the first time I visited Gretna for the Bouldering competition--and bailed right on slightly scary high-ballish moves on...

Note: I've recently returned from an amazing trip to Slovenia and Croatia. This next series of posts (if I ever finish them) will describe some of the highlights, primarily with a climbing focus. Ok, you got me. It's almost 100% about climbing. Here's part two, An Afternoon in Paklenica. Route Summary (out of four stars): Vaginalna Manipulacija,  6a+ (20m): ★ Gerovit,  6c+/7a (14m) :  ★★★ (Awesome short route. Probably a fantastic warm-up for its neighbors) Butter Keks,  5c (18m): ★ (I don't remember this route, but know I climbed it) Crni Gad , 6b (20m):    ★★★★ (So good. Oh, so good). It's 1 pm, Martin and I are baking in the sun, and we haven't matched any of guidebook topos with walls. We're staring at this small, flat metal triangle drilled into the base of a seemingly blank, overhanging wall. Enscripted on the triangle is a route name and grade: Il Maratoneta,  8b+. We're not climbing this. We hike uphill a little farther,...