Colorado Insecurity

In honor of my tradition of living slightly vicariously through my younger brother, I've got a story too good not tell. One of his friends hucked a 40 cliff...on a non-powder day, with a flat landing. He hit the ground so hard that his knees hit his chin. Oh, he also literally shat himself. I'm not joking, there's video (of the jump, I don't think they actually showed any of the shit).

I went to the most expensive superbowl party ever. Everybody was told to bring beer or food, and I chose $16 worth of the former. I then proceeded to enjoy the game a friend's place. Unfortunately, this friend lives in Gold Run. That's the place were some really dumb college students managed to set their place on fire. Twice (it was different set of college students the second time). One of my friends actually lost almost all his stuff in the first fire (for the record, he didn't start it). So why am I telling you this? Because fire hydrants are on the passenger side of the street. Where you don't see them until you get out of your super bowl party and notice this giant empty spot where your car was.

If you're somebody who hates cops, then stop reading now, because you're not going to like this next chunk. I asked the lady at the police station who was filling out my paperwork how this happened. And she told me that the Boulder PD cop had actually written me a ticket, and had put it on my windshield. But Colorado Security actually asked that my car got towed. So it got towed. So, I don't hold a grudge against BPD or Colorado State Patrol (yet).

But, what about Colorado Security?


That was close. I'm doing my best to keep this blog relatively clean, but I almost exploded in an incentive laden tirade. But I'll restrain myself. I'll be honest, I'm having trouble verbalizing a paragraph that best expresses how much I hate that security company. I'm normally pretty good about understanding that real cops are actually a societal necessity. But not rent-a-cops. No. You only goal is only to make people's lives miserable. Congraju-$%&^#-lations, your dream has come true. And your website sucks.

Uh oh. I've just noticed that I'm becoming slightly incoherent and frothy around the mouth in anger. Before I take my rabies shot, I'm going to bring things full circle: the $83 to get my car un-impounded and the $16 beer brought my evening total to ~$100. I should have gone skiing.

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